A ferocious human predator ripped through our
family, drooling over the innocent―leaving none untouched. Generations of child
predators have devoured their vulnerable offspring and siblings, molesting our
family’s youth unconcerned about the magnitude of their actions. Silence has
become the gateway to mental health issues throughout our lineage. I Am the Product of Rape―A Memoir
exposes generational secrets, lies, cover-ups and denial and their
consequences. Told from my perspective, this is my family story, a glimpse into
four women irreversibly scarred by traumatic abuse.
The
family matriarch, my grandmother, a prolific mother of ten, sets the tone for
all of us women who would place our feet in the footprints of her journey. Her
decisions transform her ancestry for generations to come. Refusing her child
love, protection, safety and happiness for material wealth is significant to
her legacy. Her story sheds light on the transgressions she not only allowed
but participated in.
Next,
there is the vulnerable, shy girl who endured the death of her childhood at the
hands of her stepfather. Incest, abuse, betrayal, humiliation, and rape
inhumanly tore through her seven year old body. Well before puberty she was
sexually exploited in her own home, her childhood, mind and body all repeatedly
violated. While her mother, my grandmother, lived in denial of the events
taking place in their home, this innocent child was consistently, savagely
tormented by her stepfather who exercised power and control over her. To
survive she separated her two worlds, disconnecting from the brutality she
incessantly endured. Inevitable, at twelve years old that vulnerable, shy girl
gave birth a child. She gave birth to me!
Then,
there is me, born on a filthy basement floor to a twelve year old. I Am the
Product of Rape. I am an adoptee, I am a daughter, and I am a mother of
three. In search of my future, I found the weighted baggage of the past.
Catholic Social Services documents helped to chronicle my life, as did the many
conversations I have had over the years with sometimes very reluctant people―relatives,
social workers, and paper pushers, all of whom seemed to guard my past as it
floundered aimlessly, leaving lingering, unanswered questions. Through the
process of connecting with my past much was revealed. I came to learn that from
my first breath I was discarded, unwanted, unloved and homeless. My journey
through foster homes the adoption system, and the intense emotional peaks and
valleys concluded with me being adopted becoming the fourth member of a middle
class Catholic family. The mother of the
family had love enough for one of her children and I was not that child.
Finally,
along this sexual-abuse sojourn, I unfortunately discovered my daughter's
devastating experience. Crushing my very core, this revelation sent my life
careening in another unexpected direction, straight through my children's lives
into a fourth-generation nightmare. The ripple effects of demoralizing incest,
the sexual slavery of serial rape, and the brutality of molestation go beyond
their impact on the direct victims, transmitting a trauma that oozes
intergenerationally. This story intertwines the DNA of my family's bloodline.
In conclusion, I Am the Product of Rape―A
Memoir initiates family table talks that have kept incest secrets silent
for generations. Our goals are to make I Am the Product of Rape ―A Memoir
and our other materials available to everyone, have I Am the Product of Rape
―A Memoir translated into the worlds languages and make I Am the Product
of Rape ―A Memoir and our other materials part of the global platform for
eliminating disparities. My daughter and I conclude by saying you are not
alone.
As a book bloggin’ and book
luvin’ Princess, I’m always curious to find out how authors got the ideas for
their books. Can you tell us what your book is about?
I Am the
Product of Rape ―A Memoir is a snapshot of four women irreversibly scarred by
traumatic abuse. First, the family matriarch, a prolific mother of ten,
sets the tone for the women who would place their feet in the footprints of her
journey, transforming her ancestry for generations to come. Her story sheds light
on the transgressions she not only allowed but participated in.
Next, there is the girl who endured the death of her
childhood at the hands of incest, abuse, betrayal, humiliation, rape, and the
inevitable birth of a child. Well before puberty she was sexually exploited in
her own home, her childhood, mind and body all repeatedly violated.
Then, there is me (Catherine Wyatt-Morley). I Am the Product of Rape. I am an
adoptee, I am a daughter, and I am a mother of three. In search of my future, I
found the weighted baggage of the past. Catholic Social Services documents
helped to chronicle my life, as did the many conversations I have had over the
years with sometimes very reluctant people―relatives, social workers, and paper
pushers, all of whom seemed to guard my past as it floundered aimlessly,
leaving lingering, unanswered questions. I found and met my mother well
into my adulthood, listening intently as she exposed the atrocities which
resulted in my birth. She transmitted the pain of a denied childhood to me like
so many nutrients fed to a fetus through an umbilical cord. My heritage lay
bare; I was speechless as my mother's portrait of her sexual violation crushed
me. I was faced with her reality, my subsequent reality, and with what was yet
to come.
Finally, along this sexual-abuse sojourn, I
unfortunately discovered my daughter's devastating experience. Crushing my very
core, this revelation sent my life careening in another unexpected direction,
straight through my children's lives into a fourth-generation nightmare. The
ripple effects of demoralizing incest, the sexual slavery of serial rape, and
the brutality of molestation go beyond their impact on the direct victims,
transmitting a trauma that oozes intergenerationally.
Written by Catherine Wyatt-Morley
Can you give us an excerpt?
This is an excerpt from the Epilogue Burning
House in I Am the Product of Rape
―A Memoir.
The backdrop of my adolescence was mostly spent being
raped, sexually assaulted and physically abused by my oldest brother. During
the day, I took on the role of a young, carefree, mocha-colored little girl
with pigtails. By fifth-grade, my life was coming unhinged. It was
there that I was misdiagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity
Disorder or ADHD, but Mom adamantly disagreed with the diagnosis. The
narrative of my middle and high school years were very difficult as well.
During the day, I smiled. Hellish, traumatizing, snake-filled nightmares, laced
in visions of incest, drowned my childhood and adolescence, plaguing my sleep.
Unable to tell anyone, I buried my pain deep, unknowingly nurturing it,
becoming a slave to it for years. Time alone did not ease my suffering. As
I grew older the suppressed trauma of my childhood began to manifest,
progressively taking severe forms. I became more anxious, angry and depressed.
I was angry that my brother repeatedly violated me, angry my father had left,
angry my mother was sick, and angry because I had to be angry in silence. Hell,
I was angry because I was angry. Spiraling downward, entering high school,
I stopped caring about myself, losing all self-worth, self-confidence,
self-esteem, and self-respect. I hated getting out of bed in the morning, but I
could not sleep at night and would cry for no reason. No matter how much I tried
not to feel sad, it was like I was always alone, even in a crowd. My
self-loathing prompted me toward sexual promiscuity as a method of coping.
Although I knew better, I managed to suppress my inner anger through the act of
sex. Insomuch as pretending it had become a part of my DNA, even that I could
not control. Sex became an addiction, like a needle sending heroin straight
into my vein. The fact of the matter is sex allowed me to manage life and
subdue my pain. Nevertheless, as with any drug, it too began to let me down.
Before realizing what was happening to my life, I had entered a lethal black
hole in a downward spiral leading toward the abyss of depression.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
If you could tell your
younger writing self anything, what would that be?
I would tell my younger self to seek mental health
help and not wait! That my ADHD diagnosis is not correct and to find
a doctor who believes it is indeed what we now know is Bipolar Disorder. I
would tell myself to tell my mother and to not allow anything to interfere with
telling her. I would tell myself to write more about what took place. I would
tell myself that though it seemed rough in the moment, feeling alone, that
which my younger self is enduring is only the experience my older self will use
because there is a purpose in all that I have been through. I would tell my
younger self how therapeutic painting is for me personally and I would
encourage my younger self to take drawing, sketching and painting classes and
horn my creative younger self. Lastly, I would tell my younger self though
she does not believe it to be true, that she is strong, and she will in
fact, impact the world and change lives in her generation by simply telling her
untold story.
Written
by Jalyon Welsh-Cole
What would you say is one of
your interesting writing quirks?
I don’t really have many quirks about my writings but
I guess one thing I think is unique about my writing style is that I write my
best stuff at night in the dark when my son has went to bed. I seem to drift
into my thoughts easier during this time have written great work because of it.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
One of my writing quirks is my ability to shut out the
world around me. No matter the noise, the conversation from television, radio,
people talking I can shut it all off, turn it all out and concentrate on
writing.
Written by Catherine Wyatt-Morley
Do you hear from your
readers? What do they say?
My mother and I have had the pleasure of receiving a
lot of reviews, personal messages, letters and in person talks about how I
Am the Product of Rape—A Memoir has personally touched them and helped them
in one way or another. I recall a grandmother raising her 15 year old
granddaughter saying, I Am the Product of Rape—A Memoir helped her deal
with the trauma of her granddaughter’s molestation by a family member. Also, we heard from a 42 year old reader who
shared after reading I Am the Product of Rape—A Memoir that she found
the courage to disclose to her 76 year old mother that her younger years of
drug use were due to being repeatedly raped by a family member. Her 76 year old
mother in turn told her she too was molestation by a family member. I Am the
Product of Rape—A Memoir touches on several topics and we are told it has
become a go-to-guide for opening
table talk discussion. My mother and I love hearing from our readers and
encourage them to continue to reach out to us via our website www.catherinewyatt-morley.com by clicking on the contact us link in the
menu.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
What is the toughest
criticism given to you as an author?
My response would be self-criticism.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
What has been your best
accomplishment?
My best accomplishment would be disclosing my trauma
to my mother because it has given me opportunities I could not have imagined. I
have begun the process of healing, and become an author with my mother. My
story gives others the courage to speak up enabling them a path towards healing.
I am engaging in a cause larger than myself and I use my voice for those who
are unable to speak out and talk about the horrific things that take place in
their lives at the hands of predators who they once trusted.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
Do you Google yourself?
Yes, after I Am the Product of Rape—A Memoir
launched in April of this year from time to time I have googled myself. Each
time I have googled myself I have learned something new or found something new
that I had not seem the time before. However, I will add that everything you
read is not always true and I share that with readers because some people do
not have the best intentions when they write about you. For the most part I
enjoy googling myself and my mother and reading the positive feedback our fans
share.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
How many unpublished and
half-finished books do you have?
I Am the
Product of Rape A Memoir is the only
published book I have done thus far. I have written many poems and short
story’s I can’t even count how many. However, I have been writing
poems since I was young and my mother has published a few of my poems in a few
of her books.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
In conjunction with I Am the Product of Rape―A Memoir, my daughter and I have developed
an interactive Workbook titled #HealingSecretHurts
or (#HSH). I Am the Product of Rape―A Memoir, #HSH and other tools are used to conduct small to mid-size
acquisition sessions which, with attendees, explores the raw subject matters
exposed in I Am the Product of Rape―A
Memoir. Sessions are implemented in safe, confidential, comfortable
environments. Making trauma a priority, my daughter and I listen, believe, and
care then encourage, empower and initiate behavior change is our principal. As
authors of I Am the Product of Rape―A
Memoir my daughter and I want to help others in need of healing from
trauma.
Written by Catherine Wyatt-Morley
Fun question – if
you were princess or prince, what’s one thing you would do to make your kingdom
a better place?
If I were a princess and could make my kingdom a
better place I would, provide health care for free to all my kingdoms people.
My mother and I are well aware that mental health stigma is very big reason why
people are not willing or able to seek the proper care or in a lot of cases it
is a reason why so many have fallen out of care. I would see to it that all were
eligible and also it would be law for everyone to have universal healthcare
including medical, mental, vision, and dental needs.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
Do you have anything specific
that you would like to say to your readers?
I would like to close by telling our readers that it
is ok to speak out about the traumas you have endured. It’s ok to seek help
regardless of your upbringing or race. It’s important for people to be aware
that silence is the gateway to mental health issues and by seeking help you
reduce your personal mental health crises dramatically. For those like me that
have endured trauma through a mental health facility I say, please do not give
up seeking support and help. It took me several attempts to find the therapist
that fits best for me and my trauma. Make sure you are seeking a professional
whom is skilled in your type of trauma. I didn’t know I should be aware of that
so I’ll pass that advice on to those readers whom need it. Lastly, I would say
the support of best friends or someone you have a close relationship with is
vital. When you’re having rough days healing or days that just seem to be a
struggle to make it through that person can carry you when you can’t carry
yourself. For me, that person is my best friend, my mentor my amazing mother. I
honestly don’t know what would do without her selflessness supporting my
grueling mental health issues. She has never complained and is always there
having my back.
Written by
Jalyon Welsh-Cole
Catherine Wyatt-Morley is the founder, chief executive officer and heartbeat of
Women On Maintaining Education and Nutrition,
a 501(c)(3) nonprofit social service organization for the at-risk and
HIV-positive community. In 1994, Wyatt-Morley founded Women On Reasons
To Heal (W.O.R.T.H.), the first and what has become the oldest
HIV-positive women’s support group in Middle Tennessee.
Wyatt-Morley has appeared in countless media outlets nationwide,
including SELF Magazine, the Today Show, A&U Magazine, POZ Magazine,
CNN, Voices of America, MSNBC, Talk America Radio, FX Radio, SiriusXM
Satellite Radio, the Palm Beach Post, the Indianapolis Indiana Recorder,
the Los Angeles Times, the Canadian Sun, Nashville Scene, and the
Tennessean.
Jalyon Welsh-Cole has been director of
Women On Maintaining Education and Nutrition,
a 501(c) (3) nonprofit social service organization, since 2010.
Welsh-Cole began writing when she was very young, starting with short
stories and poems. As a teen, she was inspired to draw, finding comfort
and creativity in her art. She joined forces with Wyatt-Morley to share
her story in
I AM THE PRODUCT OF RAPE – A MEMOIR. Together, they also have created
#HealingSecretHurts workshops, which bring the spectrum of traumatizing sexual assault into the light.
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