Tuesday, February 22, 2022




Author: Maria J. Andrade
Publisher: Clara Publishing
Pages: 250
Genre: Women’s Fiction/Historical Fiction


Based on a true story, Defiance and Redemption, A Lifetime of Unbroken Bonds, brings to life the joys, dramas, and triumphs of two sisters, Eva and Victoria Alisio and their loyal friend Marta. The sisters are raised by their atheist Grandfather Marcus and religious Grandmother Maria Luisa. Eva, a proud and strong-willed young woman defies her family, society, and culture, faces scandal and disgrace, for her forbidden love affair. Victoria finds herself in the center of a multigenerational conflict as her benefactor bestows a great inheritance on her excluding the rightful heirs. Marta, loyal to the childhood bond with the Alisio sisters, brings humor and support to their twists and turns of fortune. The young women’s bond of love, and perseverance, carries them through ordinary and extraordinary losses, triumphs, and ultimately to their destiny in the United States.

An important novel about 20th Century women, Defiance and Redemption, is an absorbing epic that moves through decades and destinies. It blends personal and historical events into a collective tale of self-determination, love, and sisterhood.

“This book is an engrossing page turner which will pull you in and keep you cheering for your favorite actors until the very end! Defiance and Redemption is a unique book that tells a story that is both particular to a given time in Ecuador, but also universal in its themes of love, betrayal and survival.” – Nancy Mintie, Founder of Uncommon Good

“Reading Defiance and Redemption reminded me of a distant time when I read Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. Like these writers, Maria Andrade took me through a captivating journey of love and deep passion. Being gripped by the strong emotions that the characters possess and what they did in the end moved me profoundly.” – Maria Donovan, Retired Verizon Executive

“In Defiance and Redemption, Maria Andrade weaves together history, biography, and fiction into a romantic love and a story of three women that defy the ability of patriarchal culture to define them. We see the young women grow up to rise above the shame that tries to silence and limit them. They learn to find their voices and make sacrifices to be true to themselves as women. They leave behind all that they knew to make a better life for themselves and their daughters. This is a book to remind women of all ages where we came from, and what it took to break out and thrive nearly a century ago. Women like these paved the way for all who came after and have the rights we have today.” – Nancy Poitou, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Book Information

Release Date: September 21, 2021

Publisher:  Clara Publishing

Soft Cover: ISBN: 978-1734290066; 274 pages; $24.99; Kindle Edition $17.99

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3foJnuV

Barnes & Noblehttps://bit.ly/3BLZYS9

B&N: https://bit.ly/3BLZYS9

Draft2Digital: https://bit.ly/3EQFud3

Want a signed copy? www.booksasfriends.com

Watch Book Trailer!

 Defiance and Redemption is available at:


About Maria J. Andrade

Maria J. Andrade was born in Ecuador, South America, and raised in New York and California. She has a bachelor of arts degree in English literature and a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology. As a licensed therapist and writer, Maria has been diving into other people’s minds and her own, through dreams, poetry, and books for over three decades. She traveled with the Four Winds Society where she studied and was initiated into Andean shamanism in 1990.

Before Maria retired as a therapist, she specialized in women’s issues and founded the Wise Women’s Circle a ritualistic and transpersonal study group that continues today. The women support each other through life’s challenges and in the growth of mind, body, and spirit.

Maria Andrade’s books for children and adults is found in a variety of genres. This is an unforgettable first novel that reflects her imagination and creative storytelling.

Defiance and Redemption is her latest release.

Visit her website at www.booksasfriends.com or connect with her on FacebookTwitter and Goodreads.


Monday, February 21, 2022


Author: Karen La Puma
Publisher: Soul Source Publishing
Pages: 420 
Genre: Nonfiction/Spiritual/Self-Help/Kabbalah/Astrology/Tarot


The Tarot is a visual system that reveals both our True Nature and our obstacles. Introducing a new Tarot deck, made with digital collage. Through pictures, symbols, meanings, questions, processes, Kabbalah, key words, and affirmations, you can learn to:

  • Find ways to reflect your inner guidance.
  • Explore the magical journey of evolution
  • Blend Astrology, Numerology, and the Tree of Life with the Tarot
  • Discover the power and implications of the symbols of Tarot

Book Information

Release Date: November 2, 2021

Publisher:  SoulSource Publishing

Soft Cover: ISBN:  978-1878203106; 420 pages; $24.95; Kindle Unlimited FREE 

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3poitYX 

Watch the book trailer at YouTube.


Karen La Puma is the Author of a series of books called A Toolkit for Awakening, which are based on the Goddess Warrior on the Hero’s Journey. She is a motivational, intuitive, and spiritual counselor in private practice in the Bay Area since 1979. She is a teacher, astrologer, hypnotherapist, reiki master, inspirational speaker, and creative storyteller with a potent and timely message to empower your life.

Her latest book is Awaken to Tarot: Be Your Own Guide with Astrology, Numbers and the Tree of Life.

Visit her website at www.soul-source.org or connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.

🏰 Author Interview Featuring Darren Starwynn, Author AWAKENING THE AVATAR WITHIN #authorinterview #interview #puyb @dstarwynn @pumpupyourbook


I have a very talented gentleman here today to tell us all about his new spiritual awakening book, Awakening the Avatar Within. His name is Darren StarwynnEnjoy the interview but first, let's find out more about Darren and his hot new book...

Dr. Darren Starwynn
 has been aware of the Quantum Field of consciousness since childhood, traveling to India to study with a spiritual master during his teenage years. Since then Darren has had a long career as acupuncturist, medical device developer, writer, healer and teacher, integrating therapeutic systems from around the world. He has written four groundbreaking books, led hundreds of workshops and seminars and invented several vibrational devices used worldwide. Darren’s workshops and retreats weave laughter and playfulness with profound personal healing and transformation.

Thousands of people have been directly or indirectly touched by Darren’s offerings, and he has inspired many colleagues to expand the scope of their work to include energy medicine and consciousness-based healing systems. His work integrates vibrational energy medicine with multi-dimensional quantum healing to help people rapidly release old trauma, pain and limitations to their self-expression.

Darren serves as a Reverend through the Lightworker Ministry, empowering healers and Lightworkers to live as Avatars and participate in the currently unfolding planetary ascension of consciousness. He is a graduate of the Tri-State Institute of Traditional Chinese Acupuncture and received a doctorate in Chinese Medicine in 1995 through the National Academy of Advanced Asian Medicine. He has been ordained as a Knight through the Sacred Medical Order of the Knights of Hope, a branch of the historical Knights Hospitaler from Europe.

Darren also loves playing and composing music, hiking, writing and dancing.

His latest book is Awakening the Avatar Within.

Visit his website at www.drstarwynn.com.

You can connect with him at Twitter or Facebook.


Awakening the Avatar Within offers a practical roadmap for deeply healing yourself and living an awakened, actualized life as an Avatar. An Avatar is Divine consciousness expressing itself as a human being, and this book will help awaken your awareness of this vital part of yourself.

You will learn many transformational practices for raising your level of consciousness and upgrading the health and functioning of your body. Many of these practices are based on the cutting-edge science of epigenetics. From this place you are able to become a vital part of the movement to heal and uplift the human race.

The information and energy transmissions of this book can empower you to:

  • Identify and express your superpowers
  • Become a powerful catalyst of healing for yourself and others on the Quantum level
  • Increase your inner peace and clarity of mind through awareness of the Fifth Dimension and the Quantum Field
  • Identify your “job description” as a Lightworker
  • Create a fulfilling daily practice of meditation and self-development
  • Activate your Light Body (Merkaba)
  • Augment your self-love and come to peace with your shadow self
  • Be a planetary healer, and join with other Avatars in uplifting the human race

Dr. Darren Starwynn has had a long career as acupuncturist, inventor, writer, healer and teacher, integrating therapeutic systems from around the world. He has written four groundbreaking books, led hundreds of workshops and seminars, invented several vibrational devices used worldwide and helped develop advanced mind-body healing systems.

“Awakening the Avatar Within is a phenomenal guidebook on how to live on the leading edge of consciousness and awaken your latent superpowers. It is indispensable reading for those wishing to claim their power to live an extraordinary life of deep love and fulfillment of their highest purpose.”  —Christy Whitman, author of The Desire Factor and the New York Times bestseller The Art of Having It All

“Awakening the Avatar Within guides you through the essential actions and practices you can do to fulfill the higher potential that you always knew was possible but may have had a hard time actualizing. Avatars are human beings going through a process of re-wiring the energy circuitry of their bodies so they can embody higher light more of the time. This is required reading for anyone ready for awakening to their true self and learning to practice energy healing at a high level of expression.”    —David T. Kyle, Ph.D., bestselling author of Energy Teachings of The Three

“Awakening the Avatar Within aligns with the energies emerging during this important time on our planet, calling us to step into our magnificence and embody our Truth as the Soulful Self, or the Avatar we are.”  From the Foreword by Dr. Sue Morter, author of The Energy Codes

“Awakening the Avatar Within is one of those books you will want to keep around for years. It can help you gain insights for self-transformation. This book is a treasure of workable insight and approaches.”  –Richard Gordon, Author/Founder of Quantum-Touch

“Darren Starwynn’s book, Awakening the Avatar Within, is both inspirational and practical. It is a treasure map of how to heal, grow and embody the Divine Self. Anyone with the willingness to follow this motivational guide and apply the simple and grounded processes can accelerate their awakening journey. This book is a spiritual gift, for it shows us how to be a part of the Second Coming of Christ, which is a group event. I highly recommend it for all who want to live their True Nature and manifest a creative and transformative purpose.”  -Karen La Puma author of the A Toolkit for Awakening book series

“Awakening the Avatar Within is a sophisticated yet accessible guidebook for healing and spiritual awakening that brilliantly incorporates wisdom from many streams, including Darren Starwynn’s own direct connection with Source. Fresh, inspired, and heart-based, it’s filled with mind-expanding concepts, moving stories, compelling testimonies, and powerful exercises that will totally uplift your entire being, from body, to mind, to spirit. It’s also an illuminating resource for healing practitioners who want to go deeper with their clients. Thank you, Darren, for using your superpowers to bring this gift forth. It should become required reading for anyone incarnated on planet Earth.”  – Marguerite Rigoglioso, Ph.D.  Author, The Mystery Tradition of Miraculous Conception:  Mary and the Lineage of Virgin Births

“These days, there seems to be an endless stream of books and Internet sites about healing and consciousness, Darren’s book Invoke the Avatar Within stands out like a bright beacon of light. Darren has done something new and different, very necessary in these destructive times on our planet Earth. He has provided a practical roadmap for evolving both our minds and physical bodies to a higher level of consciousness and vitality through the principles of epigenetics and spiritual alchemy. He has convincingly shown a way that people can become Avatars, and how awakened Avatars can join forces to literally change this world. Today, in the compromised political and public domains, it is truly difficult to name any heroes, Darren’s work is indeed champion.”  -Jon Whale. PhD., author of The Catalyst of Power, scientist and inventor

In his latest book, Awakening the Avatar Within, Darren Starwynn manages to describe the current problems, and the solutions for all of humanity in clear and easy prose, and makes it easy to follow his guidance in how to recognize and develop the Avatar you already are. In addition, you can feel an energy transmission that emanates from the very pages of the book. This book is chock-full of intriguing information along with easy-to-follow guided practices, all designed to awaken your remembrance of who you really are.”  -Vidya Frazier, Author of The Ascension Lightworker Guide & Awakening to the Fifth Dimension

“In Invoke the Avatar Within You, Darren Starwynn, O.M.D., offers a practical and pertinent guide to how to be a “practicing evolutionary”, and help heal our own lives, along with humanity’s traumas. As the boundaries between the physical and metaphysical become more porous, Darren helps awakening souls guide others through this evolutionary passage – so that heaven becomes a practice instead of a destination.”  — Steve Bhaerman, aka Swami Beyondananda, Comedian, Uncommontator and co-author of Spontaneous Evolution with Bruce Lipton

“Awakening the Avatar Within guides the reader through practical steps of a deep inner awakening of their highest self, helping tap into pure consciousness, your own healing transmission and the ability to transcend old habits and patterns that have kept us stuck as mind/limiting self.”  —Shannon Kassoff, Yoga Teacher, Master Reiki Teacher

Book Information

Release Date: September 15, 2021

Publisher:  Desert Heart Press

Soft Cover: ISBN: 0578251426; 348 pages; $19.99; E-Book, $7.99

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578251426/

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/awakening-the-avatar-within-darren-starwynn/1140269384?ean=9780578251424

Booktopia: https://www.booktopia.com.au/awakening-the-avatar-within-darren-starwynn/book/9780578251424.html

Book Depository: https://www.bookdepository.com/Awakening-Avatar-Within-Darren-Starwynn/9780578251424m

As a book bloggin’ and book luvin’ Princess, I’m always curious to find out how authors got the ideas for their books.  Can you tell us how you got the idea to write your book?  

When it’s time for me to write a book I get lots of inspired thoughts, visions and insights that frequently come into my mind, and I start writing them down. That turns into chapters for the next book. I felt the urge to write a new book about the ascension of consciousness in the summer of 2020, and I started writing the first chapter while on a vacation with my daughter in Alaska.  I have been a healer and spiritual teacher for a long time, and my work has generally been about helping clients release old inner emotional burdens and discover how they can live on a higher level of consciousness. So this book Awakening the Avatar Within is a practical roadmap to support more people in that process. It’s very timely!

There is an old quote in your book saying that Avatars show up to protect the good, destroy evil and reestablish Dharma, or the right way of life. That sure sounds like something needed in the world now. How can people like you and I and our listeners participate in that?  

That’s totally what my new book is about – to provide a practical roadmap for readers to participate in the upliftment of our world and human societies. Unlike most social activism movements that focus on external political or societal changes, reestablishing Dharma requires a profound change within each individual. That famous quote comes from the Bhagavad Gita, an ancient scripture from India. In that text the Avatar, or God-man Krishna teaches his friend Arjuna how he can go through a process of spiritual awakening. This is much more than an inspiring story from long ago. It is the same process you and I are called to go through now. As you awaken to being an Avatar you discover real superpowers that you possess. These are attributes of God-Source that empower you to be able to be part of the healing of yourself and others.  But this is not just about individual awakening and empowerment. Re-establishing Dharma required large numbers of awakening Avatars (that’s us) coming together to build and amplify a field of higher light in our homes, communities and planet. It is from this place we can teach, heal, get involved in social movements and other practical actions that will have great impact.

Do you believe in life after death or reincarnation?  

Yes. There really is no death, only the changing of the suit of clothes we call our bodies.

People talk a lot about claiming their power. What does that really mean to you? 

Losing fear of being yourself and taking positive action. “Yourself” means a lot more than your human personality and traits. There are many levels of claiming power. They all involve being courageous and moving past fear, to follow the urgings of your heart.

Here is what I believe about Lightworkers, which are people motivated to embody greater spiritual light in their bodies and to help others to do the same. We are potentially the most powerful people in society – more than politicians, lobbyists, lawyers, billionaires and so on. Yet most Lightworkers are not expressing all or even most of their power. I believe this is largely due to deep soul memories of being persecuted and traumatized in this or past lifetimes for being a Lightworker. This has created millions of relatively timid Lightworkers. The vacuum created by this abdication of power has opened gaps that have been exploited by the bad actors in our world now – those who are mis-using their power, influence and wealth to take from the masses of humanity to enrich themselves. Those bad actors deserve to be brought to justice. Yet it is the abdication of power by Lightworkers that has given them the carte blanche to do their thing. Therefore it is we Lightworkers who have the greatest responsibility. It is my mission to empower and awaken Lightworkers to their true identity as powerful Avatars.

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

🏰Read the First Chapter from I AM NOT BRAD PITT AND OTHER STORIES by Ross Dreiblatt #FirstChapter



Ross Dreiblatt
Stone Tiger Books
Literary Fiction / Humor / Satire

I AM NOT BRAD PITT is the first of three riotously absurd tales in Ross Dreiblatt’s debut short-story collection sending up America’s sometimes-fatal celebrity obsessions.

“I Am Not Brad Pitt” opens in a prison cell in which Mr. Pitt’s clone-like doppelganger, Tobey Crawford, remorsefully recounts the sequence of unlikely events that resulted in his wrongful conviction for murder.

The second story, “Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself,” considers the possibility that Keith Richards (along with, for good measure, Dolly Parton) is, indeed, a vampire. Nobel-Prize laureate Bob Dylan, the story’s vampire-killer, is equipped with more than just a harmonica and tambourine.

The final work in the collection, “Keeping Compliant With The Kardashians,” examines whether Kardashian family members are, in fact, aliens from another galaxy and what precisely is their interest on Earth.

Each of the stories are told with engaging humor, and each pokes fun more at American culture than they do, generally, of the celebrities themselves.

“Ross's stories stay with you long after you've read them. The main characters have a relatable humanity that pull the reader in as they face an array of absurd situations. Every story is a guaranteed good time.” – Pat Griffith, author of THE DPA TRILOGY

Book Information

Release Date: November 14, 2021

Publisher:  Stone Tiger Books

Soft Cover: ISBN:  978-1735667683; 391 pages; $11.00; E-Book, $2.99; Kindle Unlimited, FREE

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59610948-i-am-not-brad-pitt-and-other-stories

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3mBsxgF

You can also purchase book at the author’s website at www.RossDreiblatt.com.

Even though I was not actually guilty, I know many of you think that I got what I deserved. You probably think people like me get by on their looks and coast through life without breaking a sweat. Well, in my case, coast through someone else’s life. I know for a fact, from the “fan mail” I get here, that there are lots of you out there who think I’m just a crazy man spinning a conspiracy theory. I’m used to that kind of judgment; it doesn’t bother me. I don’t need to defend myself from that. I will tell you all right now, I am not, nor have I ever been, a religious man, but I will confess my sins today. I am guilty of many, many sins.

But none of those sins is murder. That one belongs to my lookalike buddy, Brad Pitt.

To set the record straight, it took me a while to see my resemblance to Brad. I mean, I never thought I was that good-looking. I was a geeky kid—glasses, acne, bad haircuts, debate club, math nerd. And the fatal blow? I was a big kid. About eighty pounds overweight, just five pounds shy of being officially obese. I was ground zero for awkward. Deathblows for any teenager trying to make friends and learn social skills, so I retreated inward. Friends? I had a few loyal friends who were fellow dorks, but mostly TV and movies were my friends. I was also fascinated by data, by numbers.

I’m not telling you all this to get sympathy. Yes, I was a sad case growing up, but this is who I am. I am not a monster; I evolved into Brad. There was no plastic surgery involved, either. This is all me.

My point being that by the time I had left high school, the mirror had become my enemy. I hated the image I saw, so I avoided looking at one, and in college I even avoided owning one. Looking in the mirror would trigger all of my self-loathing. The longer I looked in a mirror, the uglier and fatter I became.

It wasn’t until my last year of college that I put my foot down. I was going to lose weight if it killed me. I would not leave school and go out into the world as that near-obese, self-loathing kid anymore. I dieted, exercised, stopped eating fast foods, soda, desserts. By the time I graduated, the weight had come off. But that wasn’t enough to make me Brad Pitt.

My relationship with my reflection began to change, but not entirely. I was no longer a big guy, I could see that. Sometimes. The image I saw in the mirror was still competing with the image that had been burned into my brain all of my life. If I went off my diet for one meal, the old me would show up in the mirror immediately. It was hard to trust what I was seeing.

That’s why I didn’t see the resemblance to Brad. Back then, it wasn’t even a thought that I could look like a movie star; I just wanted to stop being afraid to see myself. In photos from that time you could clearly see I looked exactly like Brad Pitt. In fact, almost a dead ringer. But Brad Pitt wasn’t Brad Pitt yet, either.

I was twenty-five years old and still thought of myself as the fat ugly duckling. The mirror had always been my opponent, so I still avoided it. It became instinct to cover up my looks with a hat that would overshadow my face, clothes that would hang loosely instead of formfitting, never looking at anyone eye to eye for too long. This ability, the ability to will myself ugly, would come in use later in life when I needed to “de-Brad.”

Memorial Day weekend, 1991. That’s the weekend Brad and I were born. Well, that’s the weekend we both became Brad Pitt. Thelma and Louise came out. Until then, he was just a lucky guy who did okay in the gene pool. And I was a guy who had no idea that I was just as lucky. But that movie changed both our lives.

The fateful moment when Brad’s destiny and mine would become entwined forever occurred about a month after the movie opened. I remember it very clearly because I did not want to see it. I was dying to see Backdraft. It was the closest thing to an action movie that was playing that weekend and I didn’t want to waste my Saturday night at a “chick” movie. My friends outvoted me. I grudgingly went along. I mean, what else was a nerdy, lonely twenty-five-year-old with no self-confidence to do on a Saturday night in Madison, Wisconsin?

I had to admit, the movie was pretty good, but when Brad appeared on screen as the sexy hitchhiker, it didn’t register with me. Like everyone else, I was struck by his charisma. I could never have that swagger, that charm! Never even entered my mind that I could be his twin brother.

However, it registered with a couple of the women who were with my friends that night. We went out for beers after the movie and they kept insisting that I looked like him. I thought that they were making fun of me. There was no way I would ever resemble this guy who oozed sex on screen like that. I never oozed anything—well, not anything good. One of the girls took out her brush and tried to give me his hair, but I just swatted her away. I ignored them that night.

But not the next day.

I woke up the next morning with this question creeping through all of my thoughts: What if I do look like him? I mean, what if I was really, actually that good-looking? Wouldn’t that be something? But it couldn’t be possible. People who looked like that knew they were good-looking. Didn’t they?

I wet my brush and styled my hair the way Brad’s character did in the movie. I had a cowboy hat in my closet from an old Halloween costume. I put it on and stared at myself. Maybe, I thought. Maybe I might look like him.

This was where it all began. I let my hair grow out and grew my sideburns a little bit. I went to the mall and bought the clothes that he wore in Thelma and Louise. Yes, the exact clothes. Being the nerd I was, I cut out pictures of him from a magazine that had his outfits and took those pictures shopping with me. When I looked in the mirror, the reflection was a very different image than I was used to seeing. But what if it was lying? Could mirrors lie?

I needed someone else to see this.

For Halloween that year, I broke off from my tradition of hiding behind a costume to cover up my perceived flaws.

My friends were floating the idea of the Simpsons or Pee-wee’s Playhouse as group costumes. I declined. I had a surprise.

When I showed up to our annual Halloween party as J.D. from Thelma and Louise, complete with clothes and hair, there was silence. Long, excruciating silence. I had purposely come late to the party so that I could get everyone’s attention. This was difficult enough, as it was not in my DNA to seek attention. Even having my friends take that much notice of me was going to require what little confidence I had. I stood in the doorway as a small group gathered in front of me. I remember two distinct things about that moment: One woman, who was dressed as Lisa Simpson, was staring at my crotch. No one had ever looked at my crotch, and now Lisa Simpson was staring at it. After another few seconds Marge Simpson yelled out, “Smile like him.” I knew the “Brad grin” that Marge was looking for. It was in all the photos of him that I used to track down his outfit. It occurred to me that I was focusing on the clothes and not the attitude. I put my hands on my hips, leaned a little sideways and gave them the cocky Brad grin. That’s when the screaming and squealing started.

I had a superpower. I was Clark Kent. I could run into a phone booth and become Brad Pitt at a moment’s notice! This was like going to sleep an orphan and waking up as the secret Getty heir.

So maybe I might have taken Brad out for a test drive a few times. I may have gone to local bars on weekends, by myself, with my Thelma and Louise outfit on, and maybe I started to get laid a lot. Okay, no maybes, I did this. So sue me.

My new superpower gave me a little more confidence in life. I walked with a little more swagger, I smiled with a little more intent.

This newfound confidence wormed its way into my personal life. Now that I had gotten somewhat used to having this superpower, I used it at work to get ahead. I’m still at my core a nerd, so I found that by using these looks I did not have to have a dazzling personality to get ahead.

I was a bean counter at a large insurance firm in Madison, a worker bee in an anonymous cube farm. I’m not a charming guy, not particularly gifted with chitchat. I’d just as soon discuss statistics and probability as anything else. The internet was finally invented and this helped me to continue to avoid human contact. At a company Christmas party, one of my co-workers attempted to hit on me. She shocked me, but I was a little drunk, so what the heck! Of course, all I could talk about was Y2K and the impending doom. This was in 1994. She was not impressed.

I began to interact with management a little bit more. I just smiled his smile and brushed back his long hair and people assumed I had the charm that went along with the looks. I got promoted twice.

In 1995, People magazine announced that Brad Pitt was the sexiest man alive. Really? I thought. I still didn’t feel like the sexiest man alive. By this time, I knew that I could look like him, and I had gone through two girlfriends I had picked up in bars because I looked like him, but that was all they cared about. I noticed a pattern with my girlfriends: they always wanted to go out, never wanted to stay in. They wanted to show Brad off. They wanted to be seen with him, get treated better when they were with him. What did we talk about? Parties they could take me to, what I would wear to those parties. I felt like Brad Pitt was a mask I could wear to hide me. Still, I could not stop being him. Being me didn’t work as well as being him, so I went ahead and changed my hair to Brad’s spiky new do.

I decided that I wanted to swim in a bigger pond, so I moved to Chicago and became a financial analyst for Goldman Sachs. I am convinced that they hired him, not me. The interview was all about using my superpowers. I had a decent enough grasp of finance for the job, but for this type of position, they usually required two degrees from the “right” schools. I remember talking on the phone to their recruiter who was trying to tell me politely that she couldn’t even forward my résumé because it lacked the “proper” background. I told her, with complete Brad confidence, “Just get me into an interview. I will get the job.” Well, maybe I was not quite as confident as I was cynical. By this time, I knew that looks trump everything. I had five interviews with them and learned how to easily win over the interviewer. Less talk, more smile. Me, my B.A. from U of W, and his looks got me hired.

I moved quickly up the ladder at work because my boss wisely saw that negotiating complex financial deals would be more successful if negotiated by Brad Pitt. I’d sit at the negotiating table and grab their eyes with Brad’s smile. Even the men! Actually, especially the men! My upper legs were raw from all the hands placed on them during business meetings.

But then Brad finally challenged me. He threw down the gauntlet. I mean, really asked, “Are you with me? Willing to put your money where your mouth is?” That was the year Fight Club came out.

Fight Club is a brilliant film about an alter ego who looks like Brad Pitt. Let’s just say this movie resonated with me. Maybe more than I’d like to admit.

Up until then, for me to keep my own Brad alter ego alive, it was just a matter of hair styles, but with Fight Club it was the body as well. My body wasn’t bad at this point, but it wasn’t even close to the shape he was in. Also he buzzed his head. And the facial hair. Goldman Sachs didn’t allow facial hair.

I made a plan. I guess this was where the lines started getting crossed. Instead of casually going to my hairdresser and updating my haircut, I plotted to become him. Or more accurately, to remain him. I hired a trainer. Four days a week for three months. Turns out, I’m a little beefier than Brad when I pump iron, so we had to adjust the workout. I hired a dietician so I could get just the right combination of food to produce the sinewy muscle I needed.  

I changed my job. This was during the heady days of dot-com madness, and I found a job at a start-up that not only welcomed facial hair but practically demanded it. And of course, I buzzed the hair off. I became not only Brad; I became Fight Club.

Life was changing for the both of us. We were both getting older, maybe getting that nesting instinct. Brad got married for the first time. I started to tire of the sex. Well, maybe not the sex per se, but the women. They all became the same to me. They all wanted him, not me. I never had to put much effort into finding women, I just showed up somewhere and they would start talking to me. They really didn’t care much what I had to say. They would laugh at my jokes, and I learned from their cues whether I was welcome to take them home.

But actual dating? I was afraid to admit it, but this was a skill I had never acquired. Talking to women about their lives was not necessary for me, since most women came on to me for his looks and cared little about what was underneath. The double-edged sword? I felt like there wasn’t that much underneath.

All of that changed one fortunate weekend when I was bored enough to go on a blind date with some friends from work. I still remember that first encounter with Sophie Taylor. She was sitting at a table in the restaurant when I walked in and we were introduced by our mutual friend, who loudly proclaimed, “See! I told you he looks just like Brad Pitt!”

She calmly held out her hand and smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t hold that against you.”

Bam! She had my attention. She was a little bit older than my usual conquest, much more confident, sophisticated. For the first time since becoming Brad, I was a little bit intimidated by a woman.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, I’m not going to assume that because you’re so pretty you aren’t intelligent or just relying on your looks to get by. So I think that’s kind of nice of me, don’t you?” Her smile spread across her entire face. Sophie was not classically pretty; she was not like my typical Jersey Shore type of woman. She was impressive. Her features were distinct, with big eyes that were always searching, a big nose that curved a little bit to the left.  

I smiled back at her. She didn’t say this maliciously; she said it with a wink, a dare. I was fascinated by her bravado and now totally intimidated. How could I tell her that she was right? She wanted honesty. Fuck, I’d give her honesty.

“I agree, it’s really nice of you, but I’m afraid you’re wrong. I’m totally empty inside. Not one original thought in my head. Nada. I was counting on looking like a movie star to win you over. Now I don’t know what to do. It’s all I got.”

She scrutinized me a bit more. Was I pulling her leg? Her smile came back.

“Okay, then let’s start with that. Not one original thought in your head, right? Let me hear about some of your unoriginal thoughts.”

Sophie wanted to know who I was. She was paying attention. This was new to me. Before I knew it, I started blathering on and on to her about statistics and probability.

“What’s the probability of you having a doppelgänger?” She was genuinely curious.

“One in a trillion.” I knew this from research. I also appreciated that she asked about my doppelgänger, not me being his doppelgänger.

“You probably have differences in how your features are measured.” She was staring at me like a science project. “Even identical twins have some huge differences in facial measurements.”

“Measured? What does that mean?”

Sophie plucked an olive out of her martini before explaining. “Sorry, I have a bad habit of focusing on minute facial details. I restore artwork at the museum, and I’m restoring a bunch of eighteenth-century profiles, so the devil is in the details. How far your eyes are from your nose, how close your lips are to your nose. My guess is that there are some big differences there.”

This was refreshing, I was talking to a grown-up. Someone who knew details about art and who talked about my face as something other than a ticket to get in a club.

For those few hours I totally forgot who I looked like. I didn’t worry about hair, maintaining the movie star smile, or if there was someone hotter in the restaurant. I think she saw me in the same way she saw the paintings that had to be restored. She knew that if she scraped the paint and dirt off the surface a little bit, there was something better underneath, and she could bring out the beauty hiding within.

Since all of my relationships were based on who I looked like, it was a whole new experience to be with someone who wanted me, not him. She challenged me in ways no other woman would ever do. In relationships, I never had to do any heavy lifting. If I didn’t like the way a woman spoke to me, I could easily move on to the next one. Sophie unmasked me. She demanded more, demanded I value her as she did me.

I finally had to learn to care about another person, figure out how she would feel about decisions I made, think about what she was feeling.

For a while I almost forgot about him. Almost.

Having Sophie in my life also challenged Brad. Why did I need him anymore? Had he outlived his usefulness? I finally had a normal relationship, it wasn’t like I needed his looks to go out and get women anymore.

I definitely didn’t need more attention from women. I was locked on to Sophie. We moved in together and I assumed we’d get to marriage sooner or later. So for the most part, I thought my obsession had passed.

Until Ocean’s Eleven came out. Brad had a whole new look. He was now older, but still Mr. Cool. I could become that, I thought. In earlier days I would have run right out to my stylist and had my hair redone. I would have found the clothes he wore. But now, it suddenly felt wrong. After all, my primary use for him was to gain access to women, so it felt like putting on the Brad mask was getting on a runway to cheating.

This was when I began to realize that maybe I was addicted to being him. Once in a while when Sophie and I would go to a concert or a five-star restaurant, he would come out again. I took great pleasure in preparing to become him for a night so we could get to the head of a line or better treatment. It satisfied some need in me I couldn’t identify.

That’s when I thought it must be about the power, not about the women. Or maybe about the attention. Maybe it was something out of my past, when I was afraid of getting attention, and now the pendulum had swung where I hungered for it.

Do they have an AA for this kind of addiction? Celebrity Anonymous? Being Hooked On Looking Famous Anonymous? I don’t think so. I wish they did, because as you will soon see, what happened in Las Vegas did not stay in Las Vegas.


Ross Dreiblatt
 is an author who was born and grew up in New York. His father was a truck driver and his mom was a retail manager. He attended Hofstra University and moved to Los Angeles where he attended Cal State Northridge. While in Los Angeles, he studied under John Rechy’s master writing workshop at UCLA.

He has worked in the corporate offices of major retailers in Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York City, and Florida toiling on spreadsheets by day, and the imaginary lives of celebrity monsters by night.

He loves to travel and will get on a plane going anywhere, as long as it eventually lands safely. Despite the dour photo, he is kind of a happy guy.

He currently lives in South Florida.

His latest book is the literary fiction / humor / satire novel, I AM NOT BRAD PITT AND OTHER STORIES.

You can visit his website at www.RossDreiblatt.com or connect with him on TwitterFacebook or Instagram.